he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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