So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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