I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
