I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Even the bartender felt bad for me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
