i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
