You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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