i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
