Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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