Don't make out with my wife yet
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
