he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
