Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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