Your face is a jimmy john
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
