your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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