I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
