You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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