we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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