he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
