ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
