i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
