I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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