what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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