Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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