I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
