I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
