My liver just broke up with me...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
this will be a night to untag.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
