I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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