I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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