Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
