He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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