I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
