I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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