I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
