Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
