I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
