Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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