'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
