I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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