Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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