like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
