I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
