She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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