fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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