Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
