that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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