What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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