so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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