Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
