he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
