while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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