did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
