It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
